Delayed Communication from Planet Crazy


Hi, Hope.

According to my notes, it’s been four months since my last communication.  Four long, mad, unbelievable, strange-beyond-the-boundaries-of-recent-cultural-memory months.

As you may remember, our planet Earth is populated with millions of different species of creatures. My species, human, tends to be loud, boisterous, and more often than not completely destructive.  In my home country of the United States, every time our planet has revolved around the sun four times, we elect a leader called a President.  The President’s job is to lead our country in dealing with other countries so that the whole planet doesn’t just destroy each other. Continue reading


Happy Birthday, But Who’s Counting?


Hi, Hope,

We have this weird tradition here on Earth of celebrating the anniversary of our births. For the first couple of decades, it’s really awesome–you have parties, gifts, moms forgetting all about the seventeen hours of agony they endured to push you through the old Fallopian tubes–lots of hooplah in celebration of the day.

The older you get, though, the less splashy the celebrations become. Granted, the big ones–21, 30, 40, 50–tend to get more attention, but I think that’s mainly because people are thrilled you survived to another milestone without getting arrested or having a heart attack. (Or maybe you did do those things, and they’re happy you came through the other side.) Continue reading

Who, What, When, Where

Hi Friend,

It feels weird calling you “friend.” Here on Earth, we all have names—given names, surnames, nicknames. We’re name-obsessed. People, place, things, emotions—if it has any form of verifiable existence, humans are going to try to name it, categorize it, and compare it to everything else in our purview.

I think it’s a reaction to the amount of data we’re bombarded with every second of every day. To be honest, Earth is a truly overwhelming place, and most of us just do what we can to keep our heads above water. There’s no way for the human brain to actually perceive the massive influx of stimuli we experience. It’s just too much–we’d go mad if we didn’t have a filtering system. Continue reading

Greetings from Earth

Dear Whomever,

The Earth is a noisy place. My species (homo sapien, or human) has over 7.12 billion members, most of who tend to be loud, opinionated, and overbearing creatures. We talk, yell, cry, sing, play instruments. We clap, boo, whistle. We make machines that rattle and clank and hum and explode.

And despite all our delusions to the contrary, we are not the only species on this planet. In fact, there are an estimated nine million species of living things on this world, most of which we humans have never dreamed of or encountered. They make noise, too, even if we never hear it. Continue reading